Recently, I came over a couple of articles about loneliness in big cities. This is not a brand-new phenomenon and what I’m going to talk about in this writing has probably been said before. One of the articles that I read cited a survey dated back in 2013; ComRes found that 52% of Londoners feel lonely. As for right now, I have yet to find a data related to loneliness in Jakarta, but I’m sure that it’s going to be as high if not higher.
Loneliness dwells in everyone and is often overlooked when it comes to mental health issue. Not to belittle other mental issues; but in my opinion, when I’m talking about loneliness people tend to normalise it as if it does not affect someone mentally, as if it’s just another romanticised condition that all people without partner(s) experience in their life. It’s so normalised to the point where if you google ‘kesepian’ (loneliness in Bahasa Indonesia) the first article that comes up is an article from an Indonesian course in finding romantic love (even though the article is talking about loneliness in general) and most of the articles that I saw are related to someone’s single status. In addition to that, the automatic google search leads to nothing but melancholic song lyrics and rather sexual web contents such as ‘tante kesepian mencari seseorang’ (lonely cougar looking for someone).
“Loneliness is more common today than ever before, and more people live alone,” Anne Vinggaard, study author and PhD student of The Heart Centre mentions in their press release.
I keep questioning myself every single day regarding this issue. Am I lonely? Is it normal for a 25-year-old person to go out every day alone? My closest friends are leaving in few days and I’m pushing myself to pursue whatever it is that they’re pursuing so that I can run away from all this? Am I scared of loneliness? Or am I already in the verge of loneliness?
I do not know how to function properly like my friends. They seem to know their ways very well; talkative, have the actual efforts to go out and meet people, maintain friendships, never isolate themselves, hardly ever presume anything negative about themselves. Sometimes, I’m feeling very left out as if I am always the only one who’s still struggling to figure things out.
I am sitting in front of a wide window in my office. I can see the whole city from here and I wonder if anyone behind those high-rise buildings feel the same. Everyone keeps telling me that I’m not alone. Never alone. But why do I feel like I am, in fact, alone? How can someone who’s surrounded by lovely pets and opportunities feel lonely?
I wish I had someone to talk this out to, but hey, nobody wants to listen to an adult emo whining about loneliness. I’ll just weep to The Cure later at 3am.
PS: Sorry for the somewhat theoretical intro and the emotional mess outro. I don’t know how to finish this writing properly. Maybe one day I will. When I’m feeling less alone. But hey whatever no one is going to read this anyway lol.